Reclaiming the Wheel: How Havening Helped Me Drive Again

When I was in my late teens, I was involved in a serious car accident. It left me so anxious that I swore I'd never drive again. For months, I couldn't even bring myself to sit in a car, and when I finally did, the anxiety was overwhelming. I'd sit in the back seat, sweating, hyper-vigilant about every movement and every turn, no matter how safe the situation actually was. It was even worse when someone I didn't know was driving. I'd find myself backseat driving constantly, and if they threw out the classic, "Well, you should drive then," I'd freeze.

The reality is, we live in a world where walking everywhere just isn't practical. I knew I couldn't avoid cars forever.

Years later, I decided it was finally time to get behind the wheel again. Although if anyone offered to drive, I never hesitated to take the passenger seat. Still, the anxiety lingered. I'd get panic attacks, change the routes just to avoid the intersection where the crash happened, and constantly second-guess myself. I even tried counselling, but I'm not the type to open up easily without someone really helping me peel back those layers, you know?

Then I came across Lee and NLP. Honestly, I was skeptical. Part of me didn’t believe there was any way someone could help untangle the deep-rooted fear I had around driving. By this point, time had passed, and it was starting to feel downright embarrassing to still be stuck with a restricted license. But I also knew that if I wanted to reach my goals and finally get my full license, I had to confront that constant voice in the back of my head; the one that kept saying "Don't do it. What if it happens again?".

Together, we worked on going back to my lived experiences. Revisiting those moments where my anxiety had taken over, and finding ways to re-teach my brain that I was actually safe in those situations. Instead of automatically flipping that switch into fight-or-flight mode, I began learning how to send my mind a different message: that I was in control.

One of the most powerful parts of this process was the visualisation journey Lee guided me through. It felt like walking through a maze in my own mind. Tracing the paths where fear had taken root and exploring all the corners where I'd stored away all those anxious memories. Just doing that helped me recognise where the problem really was. It gave me a sense of logic over my emotions, almost like turning on the lights in a room I had been stumbling through in the dark.

From there, we built on that with a technique called Havening. This became a kind of anchor for me, a way to bring my mind back to a "safe place" whenever everything started to feel too overwhelming. Through simple, repetitive movements and focused thought patterns, I trained myself to interrupt that spiral of panic before it took hold. It was like building a mental reset button that I could access anytime, anywhere.

And slowly, the shifts started to show. I wasn't freezing up or barely holding it together behind the wheel anymore. Instead, I found myself noticing my feelings as they came, understanding them for what they were. Just feelings, not facts.

Now, I've successfully passed my full license test, something that once felt completely out of reach. These days, I'm not just more confident on the road; I've noticed that confidence flowing into other areas of my life too. It's as though reclaiming my independence behind the wheel also helped me reclaim a part of myself that fear had kept hidden for so long.

What this experience taught me is that overcoming fear is absolutely possible, but it isn't instant, and it isn't about "getting over it" overnight. Healing is a journey, sometimes a slow one, but every step forward is worth it.

Working with Lee was a big part of that journey. She made me feel heard, validated, and truly seen. Not in a way that made me feel pitied, but in a way that helped me better understand my own feelings and responses. She created a space where I could explore my fear without judgement and guided me toward tools that actually worked for me, rather than trying to force a quick fix.

If you're reading this and struggling with your own version of that nagging fear, whether it's around driving or something entirely different, I hope my story reminds you that change is possible. With the right guidance and willingness to take that first step, you can rebuild that confidence too. And if you're curious about how NLP or techniques like havening might help you, I'd encourage you to reach out to Lee, because sometimes, the hardest part is simply starting. 

Back to Balance,

Written by a former client.

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