The Building Blocks of a Resilience Mindset

Approx 5 min read.

As we step into another year, I always find myself pausing. Taking a moment to reflect on where I’ve been, what I’ve achieved, what didn’t work and what I want to carry forward. 

Last year was full of adventures that pushed me well outside my comfort zone.

One of the biggest was hiking from Cape Reinga to Ahipara. Over 101km of wind, sand, fatigue and determination. It wasn’t just a physical challenge; it was a mental one. Yes, you need fitness to tramp for days, but what really carries you through is resilience. 

That hike didn’t change who I am, but it tested me. It showed me the quiet strength we all carry inside, the kind you don’t discover when life is comfortable. Resilience doesn’t live in the comfort zone. Sometimes you have to wobble, struggle and keep moving forward to find it. 

And that’s exactly what this year’s focus is about.

Last year we explored the growth mindset. Learning, stretching, trying new things. This year, we’re building on that foundation with what I like to call the resilience mindset: the ability to keep showing up, especially when things feel hard.

For me, January is always a check-in month. A time to reflect on the year that was. February is when the clarity starts to arrive. Goals begin to form, and so do the habits that will support them (and yes…some habits that need changing too!).

So, this year’s Resilience Mindset begins with something powerful, and often overlooked: Habits.

Life doesn’t just happen to us. It’s shaped by the choices we make and how we respond to each situation. Over time, repeated choices become habits, and habits quietly determine the quality of our lives. When we do something consistently, it becomes easier. Eventually, it becomes automatic.

For example, think about learning to drive. At first, everything feels overwhelming. Mirrors, pedals, indicators, traffic. But with consistency and practice, it becomes second nature. Habits work the same way. Positive habits create positive outcomes. Negative habits, unfortunately, do the opposite.

So the question: is there one habit you’re ready to change this year? 

Maybe it’s going to bed an hour earlier. Eating more nourishing food. Reducing sugar. Taking breaks instead of pushing through exhaustion. We all have something we’d like to shift. 

Before a habit even begins, there’s usually a cue. Often an emotion such as boredom, loneliness, stress, anger, etc. Sometimes you can name the emotion. Sometimes you can’t. And that’s okay.

This is where support matters. NLP and Havening help you gently explore the emotions behind your habits without pressure or judgement. The mind doesn’t resist change when we give it small, consistent steps. That’s how lasting change happens. It’s also important to check in with how long you’ve had the habit. If you’ve carried something for 10, 20, or 30 years, it’s unrealistic to expect it to disappear in a few weeks, as much as we wish those new years resolutions would stick. I know this first-hand, having once been a smoker, I understand how deeply habits can root themselves, even when we know they’re harming us.

Here's the key: Don’t come down hard on yourself!

That inner critic is quick to tell us it’s too hard, it’s the wrong time, or we’re not capable. The brain isn’t looking for perfection, it’s looking for consistency.

Therefore trying to break a habit needs to be done in small amounts. The frontal cortex does the planning and organising and requires just one step at a time. The brain is looking for consistency not overload. If the task feels overwhelming for the brain, just like us after our shift,  it defaults back to the old “easy” ways.

As the saying goes: when we stress, we regress.

If you’ve been carrying habits or patterns for years and you’re tired of trying to fix them on your own, you don't have to keep doing it alone. Working with NLP and Havening® allows us to gently explore what’s underneath the behaviour, calm the nervous system and create change that feels safe, sustainable and real. 

This year, I invite you to choose resilience. 

To choose support. 

To choose yourself. 

Recenter your mind. Restore your clam. Return Back to Balance. 

If you’re ready to begin, I’d love to walk alongside you. 

Kind regards, 

Lee

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